i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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