i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
