i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
