i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
