don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
