If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
