we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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