there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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