Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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