Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
