he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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