lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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