I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
we should paint friendship bongs
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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