That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
