you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
