She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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