I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
