I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
