so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just invented taco cereal.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"