I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him