I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?