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Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
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