I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
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I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!