He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
two words...techno handjob
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My dick has a subreddit
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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