I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
