he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
