how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
