I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
