I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
of course. lets lasso hookers.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize