So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I wish you could order shots online.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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