I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
