So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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