could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
