Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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