I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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