At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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