just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
