if only i could text you this smell
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
