Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
