A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
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