Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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