WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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