I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
