I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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