loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
