What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
