I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
