I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
