I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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