i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
