you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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