The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
