ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
