Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
