so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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