i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.