i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
my liver is dry heaving