You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...