Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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