Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
