All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
organizing the empties. That sober.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
