I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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