sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
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I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
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I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
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