you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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