gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
no. you can't hotbox the world.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
