i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
